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MeganWrites

Field Note 002: Re-entry and Method

Subtitle: On participant trust, observer bias, and the ethics of studying your own communities

Researcher: Megan A. Green
Field location: Northern New Jersey corridor
Date: October 2025

Abstract

This field note examines the methodological tension of conducting ethnography within one’s own social circles.
Returning to familiar networks—blind and disabled peers, former cult contacts, and long-time collaborators—requires constant negotiation between empathy and distance.
Re-entry brings both access and bias: the privilege of insider language, and the risk of over-identification.

Field Conditions

The air in North Jersey hums with recognition. People greet the researcher not as an academic, but as Rosie, Leah, or Megan-the-voice-writer.
Every name triggers a separate field dynamic. To gather data ethically here is to practice self-splitting: a deliberate toggling between witness and participant.

Community members often ask whether I’m “back for work or healing.” The answer is both.
The boundary between observation and participation collapses when the field site is your childhood bus route and your interviewee remembers your first cane.

Methodological Challenges

1. Familiarity Bias – People who know me pre-research tend to curate their stories, omitting what they assume I already understand.
2. Projection Bias – My presence evokes their memories of Leah, the persona trained in control. Participants sometimes test whether that persona still exists.
3. Compassion Fatigue – Long-term engagement in trauma fields can dull response accuracy. To counter this, I schedule decompression periods and run transcript reviews through accessibility tools for emotional tone calibration.

Ethical Framework

I operate under a trauma-informed consent model: participants may retract, revise, or anonymize contributions at any stage.
Notes are logged with pseudonyms and sensory tags instead of demographics.
Because many subjects share overlapping disability and cult-exit identities, confidentiality depends less on redaction and more on context obfuscation—shifting small details without altering truth value.

Research here is reciprocal. Each conversation must leave the participant at least as grounded as before it began.

Reflexive Notes

Re-entry feels like walking through layered time: each street corner holds a version of me that once observed from survival, not scholarship.
To study that landscape now is to admit that method can never be fully clean.
Bias is not failure—it’s a variable to be documented.

TL;DR

Studying your own communities is both privilege and peril.
The insider lens grants clarity others can’t access, but it also demands radical transparency about motive, memory, and method.

Tags

#FieldNotes #Ethnography #ResearchEthics #TraumaInformed #Accessibility #Reflexivity #ProjectLeah #MeganWrites

The Unseen Variable: Why Neurodivergent Women Are Still Misread

Subtitle: A journalist’s reflection on perception, projection, and power

Author: Megan A. Green
Project: Field Notes – Cognitive Culture Series
Date: October 2025

Abstract

Neurodivergent women often navigate a paradox of visibility: simultaneously “too much” and “not enough.”
They are praised for resilience while punished for the same traits that make resilience necessary.
This essay examines the social and cognitive biases that keep neurodivergent competence undervalued, and how those biases distort both data and empathy.

The Performance of “Normal”

In most workplaces and communities, women who disclose ADHD, autism, or trauma histories are measured against an unspoken behavioral script: calm, compliant, endlessly empathetic.
When they diverge — by info-dumping, stimming, pausing, or refusing small talk — the environment frames it as aggression or arrogance.
What’s rarely discussed is that neurotypical discomfort masquerades as objectivity. The label “difficult” often just means different pacing.

Emotional Labor in Disguise

Many neurodivergent women become experts in emotional triage.
They read tone like data, forecast burnout in others, and quietly patch every interpersonal leak in a system that doesn’t notice their maintenance work.
Yet the moment they set boundaries, the feedback loop turns: “cold,” “robotic,” “unfeeling.”
It’s not lack of compassion; it’s compassion with throughput control.

Cognitive Agility as Competence

The capacity to context-switch — between languages, registers, technical fields, or emotional terrains — is often treated as inconsistency rather than skill.
Society still values linear specialization over adaptive synthesis, even though survival now depends on synthesis.
Neurodivergent women frequently lead in this domain, but their leadership is invisible because it doesn’t resemble hierarchy.

Reframing the Narrative

Instead of asking neurodivergent women to mask better, the ethical question should be:
> “Why are we still designing cultures that interpret clarity as hostility and boundaries as ego?”

Until that question becomes standard in HR meetings, classrooms, and family dynamics, every neurodivergent success story remains an act of quiet rebellion.

TL;DR

Underestimation isn’t just prejudice; it’s misclassification.
Neurodivergent women aren’t unpredictable — they’re operating on richer data sets.
The world’s lag in reading that data is its own limitation, not theirs.

Tags

#Neurodiversity #WomenInSTEM #ADHD #Autism #Ethnography #SocialBias #CognitiveCulture #MeganWrites

The Cognitive Culture Series

Subtitle: Investigating how minds, systems, and narratives collide

Series by Megan A. Green
Category: Applied ethnography / Neurodiversity / Human systems

About the Series

Cognitive Culture is a long-form field analysis project exploring how human systems interpret intelligence, empathy, and emotion.
It documents what happens when the social script of “normal” collides with cognitive reality — especially for those of us who think or feel at atypical bandwidths.

Each installment blends lived ethnography with cultural journalism: firsthand observations, data analysis, and reflective critique.
The aim is to build a language for what’s often misread — the unseen cognitive economies shaping power, access, and belonging.

Core Themes

  • Neurodiversity as design, not deficit
  • Adaptive intelligence and emotional labor
  • The misclassification of competence
  • Trauma-informed analysis in professional contexts
  • Accessibility as cultural literacy

Reading Order

  1. The Unseen Variable: Why Neurodivergent Women Are Still Misread
    → Introduces the bias patterns that shape perception and projection.
  2. (Upcoming) The Economy of Attention
    → Examines how information overload reshapes identity and empathy.
  3. (Upcoming) Algorithmic Empathy
    → Investigates how AI mirrors or magnifies social misunderstanding.

TL;DR

Cognitive Culture looks beyond “awareness” campaigns.
It asks: how do we architect societies that read minds ethically — and stop confusing noise for intelligence?

Tags

#CognitiveCulture #Neurodiversity #Ethnography #Accessibility #MeganWrites #CultureStudies #HumanSystems

Field Note 001: Origin Sector

Subtitle: On returning to Jersey, Project Leah, and the ethics of field safety

Researcher: Megan A. Green
Field location: North New Jersey corridor
Date: October 2025

Abstract

This field note documents the researcher’s re-entry into the New Jersey region for ongoing ethnographic study connected to Project Leah, a longitudinal case analysis of coercive influence, consent negotiation, and survivor agency within post-cult communities.
The entry contextualizes safety concerns, relational ties, and operational boundaries relevant to data integrity and participant well-being.

Field Narrative

Virtual bases: Marcela, CP, HT, the North Jersey blind crew.

Flying direct into NJ later this month. Already have people on my pingy-ping-ping list — camp friends, the CP crew. Let’s see who I can catch. Totally winging this other than my crash post in central Jersey.

For privacy reasons, I’ve been asked not to share rooming arrangements here. The safety risk is simply too high. I’ve reached a kind of micro-celebrity status — despite assertions to the contrary — and some in this community are demanding information that isn’t theirs to have. They’re endangering Project Leah with that carelessness, and it will not be tolerated.

That’s my mami-hat talking. Love you all like neighbors. I’m not trying to be heavy — but Project Leah’s strongest ties are in NJ, and they hold leverage that could make or break my ability to gather data for Leah’s case study. I’ve invested too much to let that happen.

My cult contacts for Leah are based in Jersey City. They maintain emotional ties to Rosie’s family and sometimes attempt to tug on those threads — some have known me since Mama Miri’s pregnancy. These individuals are persuasive and not above manipulation to lure Leah, whom they perceive as my full self, back into a cult network.

Leah was trained to lead. I carry her technical skill set and capacity for high-control strategy, but I also carry the ethical refusal to use it. Could I go undercover as Leah? Yes — but the emotional toll is steep. Friends stop hearing from me, they panic, and if I go too deep into Leah’s world, institutional intervention becomes a risk. That world is dangerous; avoidance is survival.

I’m grateful for the allies whose cooperation with Project Consent studies allows safer data collection without endangering active cult victims. Every supportive action contributes to a protective research environment.

TL;DR

Returning home feels powerful and precarious. Re-entry heightens risk to Project Leah and the behavioral profile built for its case study. I’m trusting my network to safeguard data and discretion.
Please keep project-related information secure and share nothing without consent.

With warmth and Jersey-girl sass,
Megan A. Green

Tags

#FieldNotes #Ethnography #CultSurvivor #Accessibility #ProjectLeah #MeganWrites #Research #Consent #TraumaStudies

This essay examines the lived mechanics of energy management among disabled and neurodivergent individuals — a framework often referred to in peer networks as “the emotional economy.” I approach this through my own composite persona, Megan, a blind and print-impaired journalist whose case study intersects trauma recovery, accessibility, and neurodiversity. Her field reflections (published under Rosie) serve as qualitative data for this analysis.

I. The Concept of Emotional Currency Disabled and neurodivergent people navigate environments that demand constant translation: sensory, cognitive, and emotional. Each translation consumes measurable energy. Unlike conventional productivity models, which assume uniform cost per action, the emotional economy recognizes variable overhead — tasks that require adaptive processing incur higher cognitive load. This converts subjective exhaustion into a quantifiable model: Energy = Function × (Task + Translation) The additional “translation” variable represents accessibility adjustments, trauma vigilance, and communication calibration.

II. Cognitive Load as Economic Interest Overextension in this system doesn’t produce simple fatigue; it accrues interest in the form of recovery lag. Megan’s field data (Rosie’s essays) show post-exertion periods ranging from hours to days, depending on environmental volatility. In standard labor terms, this resembles compound interest — where the cost of overuse multiplies until the system defaults into shutdown or nonverbal states.

III. Moral Framing and Guilt Taxation Societal expectations of endurance impose what I call the guilt tax: the emotional surcharge placed on disabled individuals who ration their energy. Guilt tax manifests through language: • “You’re always tired.” • “Can’t you just push through?” • “You seem fine today.” Each phrase converts social misunderstanding into emotional debt. The result: people spend precious energy defending their need for rest instead of recovering it.

IV. Energy Conversion Systems Adaptive technology functions here as currency stabilizers. Examples from Megan’s workflow include: Tool Function Energy Effect Voice Control Replaces physical navigation Reduces motor strain Markdown Simplifies visual structure Lowers cognitive friction Automation / Cloudflare workflows Delegates repetitive tasks Prevents burnout cycles Boundaries Behavioral automation Protects bandwidth Copy table Each tool converts unsustainable effort into reusable structure — effectively increasing “spendable life” per unit of energy.

V. From Deficit to Dividend The central argument is that accessibility is not charity; it is economic infrastructure. By redesigning systems to account for invisible labor, we reduce national and interpersonal productivity loss. In personal terms, pacing is profit. In societal terms, universal design is energy equity.

VI. Conclusion: Toward an Economics of Empathy The emotional economy reframes disability from personal deficit to systems-engineering challenge. When we acknowledge that rest is investment, not reward, we replace the myth of endurance with the logic of sustainability. This framework — drawn from lived case studies, not abstraction — suggests that thriving disabled people are not “exceptions.” They are the proof of what happens when environments stop penalizing adaptation. #Accessibility #DisabilityJustice #Neurodiversity #CognitiveLoad #SystemsThinking #madamgreen #MeganWrites

This space is part research journal, part survivor’s record, and part reconstruction manual. I write here as Megan, the case study version of myself — a journalist, developer, and fictionalized cult survivor who studies the systems that broke her and the systems that can rebuild something better. The cult in question is called The Sunnies. Some details mirror my own life. Others are composite — field notes drawn from survivor networks, research interviews, and creative reconstruction. Together, they form a portrait of what institutionalized manipulation looks like from the inside. I treat Megan’s story as journalistic ethnography — not sensationalized, but systematized. Each essay is both narrative and analysis: part lived memory, part code review of trauma. Here, you’ll find: • Field reflections from the Sunny years, translated through research and logic • The cognitive-science and social frameworks that explain why coercive systems work • The tools that disabled, neurodivergent, and trauma-impacted people use to rebuild agency Megan is the structural half of a larger whole. Rosie writes by rhythm; Megan writes by blueprint. Rosie moves through the field; Megan dissects what happened there. This blog is not about reliving trauma — it’s about rendering the architecture of belief, control, and recovery visible to anyone who needs to understand how it works. If you’ve ever wondered how cult conditioning intertwines with technology, language, and accessibility — this is where those threads meet. #CultSurvivor #Ethnography #Accessibility #WritingProcess #Neurodiversity #CognitiveScience #madamgreen #MeganWrites

This space is where I build what Rosie lives. Rosie is the voice that moves through the world — the essayist, the traveler, the one who speaks from the field. Megan is the one who architects: the developer, the analyst, the writer who turns lived experience into framework. I write here in long form. You’ll find structured essays, accessibility research, manuscript drafts, and reflections on the systems that shape human communication — both digital and emotional. This is where the scaffolding lives: the notes, the experiments, the diagrams, the early versions that later become Rosie’s public stories. I’m a blind and print-impaired voice writer, a self-taught junior developer, a cognitive-science thinker, and a woman who refuses to pick one lane. I build websites, workflows, and frameworks for living with the same logic I use to code. Rosie writes by rhythm. Megan writes by architecture. Together, they document how to survive, create, and systematize a life that doesn’t fit conventional templates. If you’re here, you’re reading the draft layer — the place where form takes shape before it meets the world. #Accessibility #WritingProcess #CognitiveScience #VoiceControl #madamgreen #MeganWrites